perl help.

I want to make a survey for my website I had the code for the survey but it
doesn't work. what do I use.  I know you have to have the pl files
permissions and the txt permissions set. but I tried the usr/etc/etc.
something like that but it didn't work. what do I do .  does ne 1 know?

"pfancy" <pfancy@bscn.com> wrote in message
news:40526d39@news.greennet.net...
> I want to make a survey for my website I had the code for the survey but
it
> doesn't work. what do I use.  I know you have to have the pl files
> permissions and the txt permissions set. but I tried the usr/etc/etc.
> something like that but it didn't work. what do I do .  does ne 1 know?

By "doesn't work", do you mean:

1.  It made your computer go up in flames.
2.  Caused your browser to go into spasms.
3.  Gave you dandruff.

Doesn't work has to be the most useless description possible.  What response
do you think if you went to a doctor and said "I'm sick, what's wrong", or
took your car to a mechanic and said "it's not working, what's wrong".

Anyway, come back with more detailed information including relevant errors
etc and we'll charge you a discounted rate, otherwise you'll get the
standard rate x 2.

In article <c2uku4$21mkec$1@ID-172104.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tintin wrote:
>By "doesn't work", do you mean:
>
>1.  It made your computer go up in flames.
>2.  Caused your browser to go into spasms.
>3.  Gave you dandruff.

I thought about taking a shot at him and then figured you'd do it better
anyway.  I loved the grammar and spelling, as well.  :)

>Doesn't work has to be the most useless description possible.  What respons
e
>do you think if you went to a doctor and said "I'm sick, what's wrong", or
>took your car to a mechanic and said "it's not working, what's wrong".

In the latter case?  *peer*  "Oh, THERE's the problem--your alternator's
dead.  But that shorted out the fuel pump and the starter motor.  The
starter motor took part of your engine with it when it died, unfortunately.
The problem is, when the engine blew, it cracked one of the brackets
holding it to the chassis, and it smacked the gearbox, necessitating a
really costly rebuild.  Oh, and your right headlamp is out, and should be
replaced straight away.  Will that be Visa or MasterDebt?"  :)

NEVER take your car to Sears (in the States) for a simple brake job, tyre
replacement, or even a headlamp change.  It -will- run you, because they
manage to find problems you didn't even know were possibilities.

>Anyway, come back with more detailed information including relevant errors
>etc and we'll charge you a discounted rate, otherwise you'll get the
>standard rate x 2.

I'm not so sure we should let him off that easily.  Tell you what though--
if he even questions the standard * 2, that's an extra $500 for questioning
the price.  :)

Ever see the "Support Rates (or how it should be)" article?  I have a copy
if you'd like.  It's hilarious!

--
Vorxion - Member of The Vortexa Elite

You made me think.  I go to test the page. and it says something like page
doesn't exist or I get the 404,  500, error.
"Tintin" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:c2uku4$21mkec$1@ID-172104.news.uni-berlin.de...
>
> "pfancy" <pfancy@bscn.com> wrote in message
> news:40526d39@news.greennet.net... 
> it 
>
> By "doesn't work", do you mean:
>
> 1.  It made your computer go up in flames.
> 2.  Caused your browser to go into spasms.
> 3.  Gave you dandruff.
>
> Doesn't work has to be the most useless description possible.  What
response
> do you think if you went to a doctor and said "I'm sick, what's wrong", or
> took your car to a mechanic and said "it's not working, what's wrong".
>
> Anyway, come back with more detailed information including relevant errors
> etc and we'll charge you a discounted rate, otherwise you'll get the
> standard rate x 2.
>
>

you don't charge do you.  If that's the case I'm sol.  because I can't
afford $500.00  lol.  seriously.
the car thing I do agree with that but let me tell ya I think that goes for
almost anywhere though.
"Vorxion" <vorxion@knockingshopofthemind.com> wrote in message
news:4052f7a0$1_1@news.iglou.com...
> In article <c2uku4$21mkec$1@ID-172104.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tintin wrote: 
>
> I thought about taking a shot at him and then figured you'd do it better
> anyway.  I loved the grammar and spelling, as well.  :)
> 
response 
or 
>
> In the latter case?  *peer*  "Oh, THERE's the problem--your alternator's
> dead.  But that shorted out the fuel pump and the starter motor.  The
> starter motor took part of your engine with it when it died,
unfortunately.
> The problem is, when the engine blew, it cracked one of the brackets
> holding it to the chassis, and it smacked the gearbox, necessitating a
> really costly rebuild.  Oh, and your right headlamp is out, and should be
> replaced straight away.  Will that be Visa or MasterDebt?"  :)
>
> NEVER take your car to Sears (in the States) for a simple brake job, tyre
> replacement, or even a headlamp change.  It -will- run you, because they
> manage to find problems you didn't even know were possibilities.
> 
errors 
>
> I'm not so sure we should let him off that easily.  Tell you what though--
> if he even questions the standard * 2, that's an extra $500 for
questioning
> the price.  :)
>
> Ever see the "Support Rates (or how it should be)" article?  I have a copy
> if you'd like.  It's hilarious!
>
> --
> Vorxion - Member of The Vortexa Elite

In article <40536002@news.greennet.net>, pfancy wrote:
>You made me think.  I go to test the page. and it says something like page
>doesn't exist or I get the 404,  500, error.

Christ on a crutch.  :)

THINK?!  :)

"Thinking?...Not exactly your strong suit, is it?"  --Judy Robinson, "Lost
in Space"

Look, 404 and 500 are indicative of ENTIRELY different things.  If you have
no concept of that, you surely don't belong meddling with the innards of
your site.  In fact, you probably don't belong anywhere past the boundaries
of UserLand.

404 - The page doesn't exist.
500 - The program is likely buggered and needs to be fixed.

Now since you're "thinking", you probably should have been trying to look
at the right page.  I'd presume you mean you got a 500, but assuming
anything is dangerous given your fine attention to detail.  :)

This is the point where I'd pretty much want to charge for even -reading-
your questions, if they weren't a laugh a minute.  I seriously got a good
chuckle out of this response, so thanks for the daily entertainment!

My wife wants to know if this is a joke of a troll, or if it's really one
of those people trying to get their computuer's drink coaster or foot pedal
to work.  :)

--
Vorxion - Member of The Vortexa Elite

that was suppose to be a compliment.
"Vorxion" <vorxion@knockingshopofthemind.com> wrote in message
news:4053a275$1_1@news.iglou.com...
> In article <40536002@news.greennet.net>, pfancy wrote: 
page 
>
> Christ on a crutch.  :)
>
> THINK?!  :)
>
> "Thinking?...Not exactly your strong suit, is it?"  --Judy Robinson, "Lost
> in Space"
>
> Look, 404 and 500 are indicative of ENTIRELY different things.  If you
have
> no concept of that, you surely don't belong meddling with the innards of
> your site.  In fact, you probably don't belong anywhere past the
boundaries
> of UserLand.
>
> 404 - The page doesn't exist.
> 500 - The program is likely buggered and needs to be fixed.
>
> Now since you're "thinking", you probably should have been trying to look
> at the right page.  I'd presume you mean you got a 500, but assuming
> anything is dangerous given your fine attention to detail.  :)
>
> This is the point where I'd pretty much want to charge for even -reading-
> your questions, if they weren't a laugh a minute.  I seriously got a good
> chuckle out of this response, so thanks for the daily entertainment!
>
> My wife wants to know if this is a joke of a troll, or if it's really one
> of those people trying to get their computuer's drink coaster or foot
pedal
> to work.  :)
>
> --
> Vorxion - Member of The Vortexa Elite