Cobol - I *Hate* When I Do This!

Author

I *Hate* When I Do This!

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-15, 8:55 am

So... my current contract has to do with reformatting data; processing
that was being done in this particular department is being sent off to
another department and the new department wants the data in a different
format.

(Keep in mind that the new department will do nothing whatsoever to their
processing in order to ease this transition so any suggestion that begins
with 'Can't you get the new department to just...' will be met with a
sound whack upon the noggin with a shillelagh.)

Anyhow... the new department is sending us a new version of the employee
master file; we take the old data, check them against the new file,
reformat them and send them on their way... but there's a problem, the new
department doesn't have the ability to determine what an employee's usual
hours are so the master record's area for daily hours - pic 99v99, occurs
14 - contains spaces; when the system is up and running this should show
what either the employee's expected tour-of-duty is... or what the
employee worked last w

, depending on... stuff, the phase of the moon
and barometric pressure, I dunno... but no matter what the case there's
just 'air' in there for the nonce.

So... not all of the employees have regular hours, anyhow; some are
'intermittents' who will never have a dependable schedule in their
records. We're testing a batch of those right now, a mixture of folks
we want to give a default 40-hr w

to and others with a 24-hr w

...
and if something screwed up I want to make sure they get tested so I
give them a default 80-hr w

... and I coded a bit of Ugly Code, along
the lines of:

IF WS-EMPMAST-REC(82:56) = SPACES OR ZEROES OR LOW-VALUES
SET DEFAULT-80HR-USED TO TRUE
MOVE WS-DEFAULT-80HR-TOUR TO WS-EMPMAST-REC(82:56)
END-IF

IF INTERMITTENT-EMPLOYEE
IF DAILY-CONSULTANT
SET DEFAULT-24HR-USED TO TRUE
MOVE WS-DEFAULT-24HR-TOUR TO WS-EMPMAST-REC(82:56)
ELSE
SET DEFAULT-40HR-USED TO TRUE
MOVE WS-DEFAULT-40HR-TOUR TO WS-EMPMAST-REC(82:56)
END-IF
END-IF

(yes, site standard is File Descriptor entries have no prefix and
WORKING-STORAGE entries do... that's how they want it coded, that's how I
code it)

.... and used

01 WS-DEFAULT-80HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
'000000800080008000800080000000000080008
00080008000800000'.
01 WS-DEFAULT-40HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
'000000800080008000800080000000000000000
00000000000000000'.
01 WS-DEFAULT-24HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
'000000800080008000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000'.

.... as the masks... and the program ran like a watch, no problems...

.... and all my results were off... because my counting was off, instead
of:

'000000800080008000800080000000000080008
00080008000800000'

.... as a template I should have used

'000008000800080008000800000000000800080
00800080008000000'

.... and instead of everyone getting 8 hours/day they got .8.

I *hate* when that happens.

DD

LX-i

2005-01-15, 8:55 am

docdwarf@panix.com wrote:

[snip]

> ... and used
>
> 01 WS-DEFAULT-80HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
> '000000800080008000800080000000000080008
00080008000800000'.
> 01 WS-DEFAULT-40HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
> '000000800080008000800080000000000000000
00000000000000000'.
> 01 WS-DEFAULT-24HR-TOUR PIC X(56) VALUE
> '000000800080008000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000'.
>
> ... as the masks... and the program ran like a watch, no problems...
>
> ... and all my results were off... because my counting was off, instead
> of:
>
> '000000800080008000800080000000000080008
00080008000800000'
>
> ... as a template I should have used
>
> '000008000800080008000800000000000800080
00800080008000000'
>
> ... and instead of everyone getting 8 hours/day they got .8.
>
> I *hate* when that happens.

Don't write a virus to transfer fractions of cents to your bank account
on your last day... ;)

(Weren't they happy that you cut their payroll to a fraction of what it
used to be?)

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ / \ / ~ Live from Montgomery, AL! ~
~ / \/ o ~ ~
~ / /\ - | ~ LXi0007@Netscape.net ~
~ _____ / \ | ~ http://www.knology.net/~mopsmom/daniel ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ I do not read e-mail at the above address ~
~ Please see website if you wish to contact me privately ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ GEEKCODE 3.12 GCS/IT d s-:+ a C++ L++ E--- W++ N++ o? K- w$ ~
~ !O M-- V PS+ PE++ Y? !PGP t+ 5? X+ R* tv b+ DI++ D+ G- e ~
~ h---- r+++ z++++ ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-15, 8:55 am

In article <y%%Ed.39$813.9@fe40.usenetserver.com>,
LX-i <lxi0007@netscape.net> wrote:
>docdwarf@panix.com wrote:

[snip]

>
>Don't write a virus to transfer fractions of cents to your bank account
>on your last day... ;)

To the best of my knowledge there has never been a case of a 'virus' on a
mainframe.

>
>(Weren't they happy that you cut their payroll to a fraction of what it
>used to be?)

Actually... they were happy to see me make the error. My tech lead's boss
was sitting in my cube as I went over the code and the data and heard me
muttering and snarling and saw the air turn a curious shade of cyan when I
discovered the cause...

.... which confirmed his suspicions about what was happening, even though
he had no explanation as to why he felt that... so it confirmed his having
a Good Nose for Things, which he liked...

.... and when I said 'THERE! *Damnation*, I screwed this one up, I did...
this one's *my* botch, and *mine* alone.' ... he smiled and said
'Finally... after a year and change here you made a mistake? It's about
time.'

Now they think I'm more like they are... and this makes them more
comfortable.

DD

Pete Dashwood

2005-01-15, 8:55 pm

"Robert Wagner" <spamblocker-robert@wagner.net> wrote in message
news:r30hu0tdf1rbjvmhocnscckb7n54qfsg5f@
4ax.com...
> On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 13:38:42 +1300, "Pete Dashwood"
> <dashwood@enternet.co.nz> wrote:
>
no[color=darkred]
their[color=darkred]
>
> Why not hook up with one of those empty-nest women and take in a
> foster child? You can show both the mountain you love, swim with them,
> cook for them, go to the zoo together.
>
> I did when I was close to your age. I'm two years older than you.
>
It would actually be a step child. I'm too old to be allowed to foster or
adopt.

Part of the problem with this solution is that I really do value my freedom
and independence. It has been a long time since I had a live-in girlfriend;
I find it works better when she has her own space I have mine.

I wouldn't rule out this suggestion, Robert, but it would need to be a
pretty special lady (and child).

Still, as i observed earlier, who knows what the Hell is going to happen
next...? <G>

Pete.

Pete Dashwood

2005-01-17, 3:55 pm

LX-i

2005-01-17, 8:55 pm

docdwarf@panix.com wrote:
> In article <03mFd.687$813.421@fe40.usenetserver.com>,
> LX-i <lxi0007@netscape.net> wrote:
>
>
>
> Damnation, it has been a... few decades and I cannot remember. That's the
> one where they want you to walk a mile in a half-hour or so, right? How
> long do you have to wait to take the make-up exam?

Heh - I wish. It's a mile and a half, and I'm about 5 minutes or so
slower than I need to be, given my abdominal circumference. As it turns
out, they didn't make us run today because they didn't have a
defibrillator. If we don't get to run on Tuesday (the reschedule),
we'll have to do our strength test (push-ups & sit-ups) again.

This is just the beginning of the second year of the new policy. Before
that, we rode a bike with a telemetry thing around our chest, that
measured heart rate. I could pass that pretty easily. :)

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ / \ / ~ Live from Montgomery, AL! ~
~ / \/ o ~ ~
~ / /\ - | ~ LXi0007@Netscape.net ~
~ _____ / \ | ~ http://www.knology.net/~mopsmom/daniel ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ I do not read e-mail at the above address ~
~ Please see website if you wish to contact me privately ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ GEEKCODE 3.12 GCS/IT d s-:+ a C++ L++ E--- W++ N++ o? K- w$ ~
~ !O M-- V PS+ PE++ Y? !PGP t+ 5? X+ R* tv b+ DI++ D+ G- e ~
~ h---- r+++ z++++ ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-17, 8:55 pm

In article <FIGFd.2498$813.834@fe40.usenetserver.com>,
LX-i <lxi0007@netscape.net> wrote:
>docdwarf@panix.com wrote:
>
>Heh - I wish. It's a mile and a half, and I'm about 5 minutes or so
>slower than I need to be, given my abdominal circumference.

Good luck, then.

DD

Robert Wagner

2005-01-17, 8:55 pm

On Thu, 13 Jan 2005 21:08:19 -0600, LX-i <lxi0007@netscape.net> wrote:

>Heh - I wish. It's a mile and a half, and I'm about 5 minutes or so
>slower than I need to be, given my abdominal circumference. As it turns
>out, they didn't make us run today because they didn't have a
>defibrillator.

USMC Command, Fallujah:

Sorry, Colonel, we can't attack that hill today.

Why the hell not?

According to this spreadsheet, which calculates speed as a function of
abdominal circumference, we're too slow. Also, the defibrillator is
down. If someone died out there, we'd be in big trouble. The motor
pool says we'll have armored personnel carriers to taxi us in
tomorrow.

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-17, 8:55 pm

In article <ctdfu0tpie0ocrp7sl8gk77te16aptqhju@4ax.com>,
Robert Wagner <spamblocker-robert@wagner.net> wrote:
>On Thu, 13 Jan 2005 21:08:19 -0600, LX-i <lxi0007@netscape.net> wrote:
>
>
>USMC Command, Fallujah:
>
>Sorry, Colonel, we can't attack that hill today.
>
>Why the hell not?
>
>According to this spreadsheet, which calculates speed as a function of
>abdominal circumference, we're too slow. Also, the defibrillator is
>down. If someone died out there, we'd be in big trouble. The motor
>pool says we'll have armored personnel carriers to taxi us in
>tomorrow.

Oh, look... a military philosopher! Do tell, Mr Wagner, is this an
application of a Kantian Categorical Imperative or a Heideggerian Das
Mann?

'Everyone must be held responsible for all conditions in all places at all
times and yet still be accorded none of the priveleges associated with any
of these conditions.'

DD

Robert Wagner

2005-01-18, 3:55 am

On 14 Jan 2005 07:34:05 -0500, docdwarf@panix.com wrote:

>In article <ctdfu0tpie0ocrp7sl8gk77te16aptqhju@4ax.com>,
>Robert Wagner <spamblocker-robert@wagner.net> wrote:
>
>Oh, look... a military philosopher! Do tell, Mr Wagner, is this an
>application of a Kantian Categorical Imperative or a Heideggerian Das
>Mann?
>
>'Everyone must be held responsible for all conditions in all places at all
>times and yet still be accorded none of the priveleges associated with any
>of these conditions.'

Not philosophy, just good-natured ribbing. The Marine Corps fitness
test requires three miles in 28 minutes or less. A company of Second
Recon once did it in 18 minutes, running together in formation.
Six-minute miles wouldn't be remarkable under ordinary conditions, but
runners were wearing boots, carrying burp guns, and a red flag was
flying (no strenuous outdoor activities) due to 100 degree heat. I
remember a doctor shouting "If you take those men out, Lieutenant,
I'll have you court martialed." Twenty finished and a hundred were
overcome by heat. Hoo-ra. :)

Howard Brazee

2005-01-18, 3:55 am

Last July I had 6 more stints put in. But come fall, I was deteriorating and
right after Thanksgiving my cardiologist tried to remove scar tissue at the tip
but failed. In December he tried a roto-router device to do this but failed,
and added 3 more stints. (a few years ago I had some stints after a heart
attack). Since December I have been going through channels trying to get my
insurance to approve of me working out in the cardiac rehab so that I can learn
how far I can safely push it. I get scared when I do any running and my heart
pain goes up. But I need exercise. I do like to carry my clubs when I play
golf, and when I take the nuclear stress test, I have to schedule more time in
order to work hard enough to get my heart up as fast as they want.

Getting old is a XXXXX.

Lueko Willms

2005-01-18, 3:55 am

.. On 14.01.05
wrote spamblocker-robert@wagner.net (Robert Wagner)
on /COMP/LANG/COBOL
in ctdfu0tpie0ocrp7sl8gk77te16aptqhju@4ax.com
about Re: I *Hate* When I Do This!

RW> USMC Command, Fallujah:
RW>
RW> Sorry, Colonel, we can't attack that hill today.

Very good. They shouldn't do it at all, but get the hell out of
that country.

Yours,
Lüko Willms http://www.willms-edv.de
/--------- L.WILLMS@jpberlin.de -- Alle Rechte vorbehalten --

Hinlänglicher Stoff zum Stillschweigen. -G.C.Lichtenberg

Jeff York

2005-01-18, 3:55 am

Robert Wagner <spamblocker-robert@wagner.net> wrote:

>On 14 Jan 2005 07:34:05 -0500, docdwarf@panix.com wrote:
>
>
>Not philosophy, just good-natured ribbing. The Marine Corps fitness
>test requires three miles in 28 minutes or less.

I find that quite frightening.. Mainly because I'm 55 years old, BMI
of around 25, I don't consider myself very fit - but could do that
easily. One would have thought that fit young men, especially
Marines, would do it in not much more than half that time..

>..A company of Second
>Recon once did it in 18 minutes, running together in formation.
>Six-minute miles wouldn't be remarkable under ordinary conditions, but
>runners were wearing boots, carrying burp guns, and a red flag was
>flying (no strenuous outdoor activities) due to 100 degree heat. I
>remember a doctor shouting "If you take those men out, Lieutenant,
>I'll have you court martialed." Twenty finished and a hundred were
>overcome by heat. Hoo-ra. :)

That's more like it! :-) Mind you, I think that the SAS are expected
to do something similar but carrying 60lb Bergens as well.. (But
they're not human!) :-)

--
Jeff. Ironbridge, Shrops, U.K.
jjy@jakfield.xu-netx.com (remove the x..x round u-net for return address)
and don't bother with ralf4, it's a spamtrap and I never go there.. :)

.... "There are few hours in life more agreeable
than the hour dedicated to the ceremony
known as afternoon tea.."

Henry James, (1843 - 1916).

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-18, 3:55 am

In article <ffifu0t8mle51mdfqarcai5h5akdsukkl8@4ax.com>,
Robert Wagner <spamblocker-robert@wagner.net> wrote:
>On 14 Jan 2005 07:34:05 -0500, docdwarf@panix.com wrote:
>
>
>Not philosophy, just good-natured ribbing. The Marine Corps fitness
>test requires three miles in 28 minutes or less.

This might be a reason why those with other capabilities join other
branches of service, Mr Wagner.

DD

Howard Brazee

2005-01-19, 3:55 am

On 14-Jan-2005, "Pete Dashwood" <dashwood@enternet.co.nz> wrote:

> I think the alternative is given a lot of bad press and is really not the
> worst that can happen.

Unless fundamentalists are correct, and their omnipotent loving God allows not
only one of His loved children, but by far, the vast majority of His loved
children to be tortured beyond all understanding forever and ever without hope
of parole.

If they are wrong, and God allows the non-believers to die then you're correct.

Howard Brazee

2005-01-19, 3:55 am

On 14-Jan-2005, docdwarf@panix.com wrote:

> I think that very few people have put up with the alternative to getting
> older for a significant fraction of the amount of time they spent getting
> older and then reported that the alternative was better.

We really can't tell without feedback from those who have tried both.

Howard Brazee

2005-01-19, 3:55 am

On 14-Jan-2005, "Pete Dashwood" <dashwood@enternet.co.nz> wrote:

> I consider myself very lucky.

That is more of a cause than an effect - of being happy.

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-19, 3:55 am

In article <csjb81$6s5$1@peabody.colorado.edu>,
Howard Brazee <howard@brazee.net> wrote:
>
>On 14-Jan-2005, docdwarf@panix.com wrote:
>
>
>We really can't tell without feedback from those who have tried both.

I can't tell much about 'really' things... but when other data arrive I'll
take them into consideration, until then I try to make do with what I
have.

DD

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-19, 3:55 am

In article <cs8krn$fb$1@peabody.colorado.edu>,
Howard Brazee <howard@brazee.net> wrote:

[snip]

>Getting old is a XXXXX.

It usually beats the alternative.

DD

Pete Dashwood

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

LX-i

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

Robert Wagner

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

docdwarf@panix.com

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

Howard Brazee

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

Pete Dashwood

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

<docdwarf@panix.com> wrote in message news:cs8nu3$b0a$1@panix5.panix.com...
> In article <cs8krn$fb$1@peabody.colorado.edu>,
> Howard Brazee <howard@brazee.net> wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
>
> It usually beats the alternative.
>

I think the alternative is given a lot of bad press and is really not the
worst that can happen.

Here are some things I would consider worse than death (strictly personal
opinion and not up for argument):

1. Being married to a nagging, whining, shrewish, wife who makes every day a
misery, for say, 50 years. (No reprieve for good behaviour...)

2. Being publicly dishonoured, and knowing I deserved it.

3. To die slowly over a period of years from a painful, terminal, wasting,
disease.

4. To have no quality of life or fun, no pleasures, ever.

5. To have achieved all the goals you set in life and be incapable of
imagining more.

6. To lose my mental faculties.

Death is a normal inevitable part of life. We should learn to deal with it
(NOT rush to embrace it...<G> ), better than most of us do.

Pete.

Donald Tees

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

Pete Dashwood wrote:
> Most people are surprised when they find out how old I am. (Women in their
> early forties hit on me and are dismayed when they learn my age <G> )
>

When that happens to me, my 28-year-old girlfriend gets real pissed off,
but then I am a year younger than you. You could add to your list, being
bored spitless forever.

Donald

;< )

Howard Brazee

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

Howard Brazee

2005-01-20, 3:55 pm

On 14-Jan-2005, "Pete Dashwood" <dashwood@enternet.co.nz> wrote:

> I consider myself very lucky.

That is more of a cause than an effect - of being happy.

Howard Brazee

2005-01-23, 3:55 am

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